night of the 2th.

the light here is dull. it's opened brightly though. maybe it's just myself. arghh..
the feeling tonight is totally different when i opened my monitor. what i've seen what i've received. it's just so holy crapt. i don't know what's going on, what's wrong, i don't even recognise myself. i was smilling all the while. but inside, it was like scratches all over.
i don't know i really don't know.
the enviness, lonliness, unhappiness, just came back all in once. im not strong enough. im not tough enough. at the end, i fall. i don't know how to get up. or i'd rather give up? i don't know. maybe it's just you that could pull me up? i don't think so. arghh..

p.s. thanks for the lie